i agree with pba. chessed that comes out of the desire to give and an overabundance of love is chessed.
when it is given from a place where person now is strained and/or resentful, i don’t believe it’s chessed. (or at least not highest form) though, i don’t know how ???? ???? ?? ???? would apply here.
often, people do chessed to others on the cheshbon of their family or their own needs.
a true tzaddik is like avraham avinu who was pained when he had no guests or like rav aryeh levine who couldn’t say “no” to anyone because he truly loved everyone, and giving gave him the greatest pleasure.