“Pushing chumros onto everyone?
Did someone come to your house and tell you that your women must dress a certain way or suffer consequences?”
They dont have to. By excluding families (from schools for example) that do not dress this way and labeling them “untznius” is more than enough. Rabbeinu Tam tefillin is also for ballei madrega, would you say someone who doesnt wear these tefillin are not following halacha?
“Or do you mean that the guilt you feel from not wanting to be a ba’al madreigah compels you to dress in a certain level of tznius that you feel is above you?”
I have not seen anyone label dressing a certain way “madreigadik”, just tsniusdik.