it is not at all like clever jewish pun says
There are also wonderful times to be had, as with any other child.
What I will agree with clever jewish pun though is the extra patience money and time such a child needs. Also whatever decisions you make make sure you are on the same page as your spouse. In terms of strain on marriage, there are many more resources that are available even more then a few years ago, that could help you and your spouse raise your child. Just remember as with ANY CHILD you both want whats best for your child even if you sometimes disagree a bit. Communication is the key
Regarding making you feel like outsiders I can tell you from experience that the community has become much more acceptable of families that have a disabled child,more then even a decade ago.Some people used to be just plain ignorant.
If you need further guidance and live in brooklyn,two excellent organizations are womens league (jumpstart) and otsar. Womens league, 718-853-0900
otsar 718 946 7301