You compare your spouse to your friends, how they look, act, interact, cook whatever its not a good idea and bizman hazel with things being the way they are people should really avoid it. “
And people compare their kids to other people’s children, so maybe children should not invite friends for Shabbos either. Avoiding socializing is a GREAT way to build resentment in a spouse who is sociable, and fosters the very discontent that leads to some of your fears.