Reply To: Who needs to change?

I think what makes my situation so confusing is that I’ve been told to bud out of the religious issues with him (by a well known rabbi). He is frum in some ways, but not others. He keeps shabbos, kashrut, tzitzis, niddah (easy for him when he’s not attracted to me/torturous for me) doesn’t Daven, put on tefillin, bench (I always have to remind him on shabbos, and he always has some excuse why it’s not a good time/the kids need us, etc.). We went for couples counseling. He didn’t want to do the work. I used to be much more self confident, sought after. Now , I can’t fathom making a life on my own or anyone wanting me. Am I wrong for thinking the religious issues are my business? I fear it will affect my kids religious development. There are so many threads about not breaking up a marriage. How do you know if/when you need to when you’re friends and your rabbi are telling you to ignore the issues?