always runs with scissors fast
Extremism is very dangerous…like running fast with scissors in hand 🙂
The Mishna is Avos said over 2000 years ago that everyone should have a Rav for guidance. All the more so a BT who needs even more guidance as he/she doesn’t have the Torah upbringing and background that a typical FFB has. I can’t stress this enough. You should really find a Rebbetzin who you can click with. She doesn’t have to be chassidish, she just has to be someone who has a sympathetic ear and can understand you and give guidance when necessary.
Something I personally have found very rewarding is to listen to shiurim online on the various Torah topics that interest me. Please check out Torahanytime.com Im sure you will find many Ravs and Rebbetzins there to be very entertaining as well as spiritually nourishing and uplifting.
As I said, Im an FFB but with that being said, due to some mistakes I made many years ago, I find I need constant reinforcement and must constantly keep my head in my Yiddishkiet to feel fulfilled. Im sure as a BT you have a similar need for spiritual nourishment. Hatzlacha with everything and I wish upon you that Hashem grant you clarity and menuchas Hanefesh so that you may constantly grow in your connection to Him and be zoche to actualize the true expression of your innermost being.