middlepath – if you grew the girl/boy in the garden (meaning you did the shidduch yourself) you would not have to pay the shadchan!!
Secondly- yes everyone has a predetermined match. But as I have heard form many greats, sometimes we say NO to the one it was supposed to be for one or more of many reasons. The shadchan could be the one to turn it around and restore the person to their originally intended. Possible, no?