I am feeling the same as you. I try to go to a Shiur before Mincha on Shabbos and then stay for Mincha. Sometimes I can go on Friday night. I have a hard time going Shabbos morning.
I don’t actually think there is something so wrong with this. I have personal reasons why I don’t like going to a Shule. I feel better not going than if I go.
I am open to this changing in the future but why should i force myself to be in a place where i am very unhappy?