your situation sounds really hard. I am not one to usually comment, but I feel like you need some guidence. Do you have a Rav or friend you respect who you could speak to? Becuase even thinking about throwing away Yiddeshkeit because of money is a very hard thought to comprehend. I feel like you have more problems then just money and maybe it would help to talk to someone who knows you to give you Chizuk? Just know Hashem loves you and wants the best for you. He wants you to be happy serving Him. Sometimes we get into ruts and its hard to see pass the difficult time.
Hatzlacha Raba!