Okay, here’s another story to illustrate that being “friends” with a guy/girl if you’re a girl/guy does NOT exist !
My friend is very frum. I wouldn’t classify her as “yeshivish” but still doesnt-talk-to-guys frum.
In one of her classes this semester, was a yeshivish (looking) boy. (And very good looking unfortunately.) He would sit down next to her in class, come over after class and ask questions, and was, in general, making this girl think (with good reason!) than he wanted to date her. Eventually. At first my friend’s theory was that he first had to take the LSATS, and then he’d formally ask her out. I had misgivings because she was not the only girl he talked to, but didn’t want to ruin any high hopes for my friend – he was REALLY playing her emotions.
One day, they started emailing back and forth- it started off innocuous enough- about an upcoming test bla bla bla.. and ended up being used as an excuse to flirt outrageously.
My seriously shtark friend was sitting at her computer for hours on end trying to come up with funny responses to his funny responses.
One night, he ended his email with “Okay, I’m tired and cant be on my a-game anymore, layla tov!”
And he never emailed or contacted my friend again.
Who was heartbroken obviously.
And 2 months later, he’s dating someone seriously.
Honestly, generalizations across the board are difficult, but in this case- it’s just NOT worth it to start up with a a guy/girl unless you’re dating her/him.
imho.