I am bringing up this thread because of the recent discussion about whether a guy in yeshiva should give up a little learning to make the girl he’s dating more comfortable by traveling to her location. On that thread, the argument was mainly focused on derech eretz, and who should give up to who. I don’t want to focus on that now. I want to focus on the relevance that discussion has to this thread.
It is a fact that men are not as sensitive/perceptive to the needs of others as much as women are. I think an average yeshiva student of marriageable age is not as sensitive and perceptive to others’ needs as he should be. There is lack of focus on that in most yeshivos. The point is, though, that he will have to learn how to think of other people’s needs, and this is especially crucial when he begins dating. No girl wants a guy who doesn’t think or care about her needs.
So, just for this alone, I think it is worth it for a yeshiva guy to give up a little learning to travel to the girl’s city if it’ll make her feel more comfortable, because he will have to get used to doing things like that: “Giving up” small things for her benefit, sometimes at an expense. That is what a good husband does. And eventually, he will WANT to do things like this, because he will know how much it means to his wife, and he will get happiness knowing that she is happy because of something HE did for HER. I think it’s more important for a BOY to work on this than a GIRL, because girls generally have this sensitivity/ perception to a greater degree, and perhaps should focus improving in other areas. But this is an area that boys should work on.
And aries, as always, your posts here are informative, well-worded, and correct.