MiddlePath, how old are you? You have an uncommonly mature and sensitive outlook for a young guy. The girl who gets you will be very lucky.
Guys who spent their entire unmarried lives NOT complimenting people of the female persuasion, do not magically change just because they said harei aht. No one says they should be indiscriminately flattering women, but they have to start learning to do so sincerely when they are little children, or they will not easily be able to do so sincerely as adults.
My husband after 34 years bli ayin hara and kein yirbu, still tells me EVERY DAY how pretty he thinks I am. He needs new glasses IMO, but it is still wonderful to hear, especially after all this time. And yes, I compliment him, too (not necessarily about his looks, though that is a part of it).
I think this topic is getting blown out of proportion.