Reply To: In-law advice

My husband is practically married to his mother. They are very close. My mother reminded me how, during Sheva brachos week, my MIL came over every morning, super early, to make breakfast. My husband is a “mommas boy”. They need to “cut the cord”. Part of their unhealthy way of relating is to say everything that’s on their minds and to most often criticize. It’s in the family. Both my husband and my MIL find fault with most everything. If I spend hours cleaning the house, why didn’t I organize the medicine closet. If I lost 50 pounds, they say “no way!”, if I dress beautifully for a wedding, I wasn’t ready soon enough. When my nephew came over to visit, my mother commented about how nicely he had grown. All my MIL could say was “yes, but he doesn’t have a job”. Never a kind word. My husband won’t even move as he wants to live near her. I do sometimes get babysitters, but it’s not always an option, and I can’t avoid her forever. There’s only so much you can swallow when a person never has a kind word to say to you. I have spoken to my husband about it, and he acknowledged it is a problem with her. She’s not always nasty, but all too often. She’s much older than me, but very immature in her way of relating to people. When we first got married, she told my husband that she disliked a single friend of mine so much (because she talks a lot in a whiny voice), and she absolutely refused to come if my friend was at our house. She acted like my friend had leprosy and that she might catch it. I’m just tired of all the nonsense and her indignantly feeling the right to rain on other people’s parade. It builds her self esteem to break mine. Aaaagh!!!!!