Dear Blabla
Just to give you a little chizzuk…
Remembering my childhood brings tears to my eye. While typing i am actually crying!
I was the neb of the class never had a friend. My confidence was below zero. When teachers asked questions in class even i knew the answer it just couldnt come through my teeth, and how teachers would publicly say something like “next time participate” and that would knock my self esteem even more. Oh how I remember I broke my hand once we had a test the teacher tested me orally since i couldnt write and not a single answer could come out of my throat and loudly she says just bec u hurt ur hand doesnt mean u cant know anything! With time i gave up studying and made teachers even more upset.
To make matters worse at home things weren’t better infact it was worse! I even had girls tease me in school about my father. When i came home from school I used to run to the storage room in the basement lock myself in and cry away!!
But then one day I decided thats enough, its not what I am! its WHO I am! and so I started slowly building my self esteem! Nothing happens overnight but i worked real hard!
But everything is controlled from above and the wheel of fortune turns to everyone at some point.
I graduate and did a wonderful shidduch from a great family! the boy was a little older (all of 22 but by the chassidim its considered old) now married a few years I have 2 adorable children a great husband who has b”h suceeded in business while taking time from his day to learn. I got all I want thank hashem! (dont worry no ones life is perfect) and my confidence my classmates r shocked each time I meet them! once I learned how to open my mouth I forgot to close it. 😉
just to prove my point a little more I was in the country these past 2 years and b”h geloibt der ebishter im the one evryone runs after!!
I hope the wheel of fortune will turn ur way very soon!
Dont give up there is a light at the end of the tunnel!