Mike C -Your problem is that you think there can only be one way in Yiddishkeit. You started a topic to impress on e/o that there is only one way. Your attitude has been very poor in acknowledging your shortcomings. Had you came here and said -While the Halacha permits getting engaged and married without a Shadchan inbetween, the preferable way is to use a Shadchan. If you would have posted this, I highly doubt most people would have criticized you.
Also, please don’t bring Rayos what the Halacha is from stories in the Tanach. Because if you do that, then people can say -What about Yehudah? I guess it’s Mutter to take a Zonah as long as there was a Shadchan inbetween. And of course we know this isn’t the case!