Arig – there is no such thing as having an E”Y experience in NY. E”Y is E”Y and NY is NY. There’s a reason girls frum out so much in seminary – Yerushalayim is special, and it has the ability to bring people to levels they’d never see themselves at before. NY doesn’t have that special power, and therefore no matter how good the school is, it can’t give the girls what they can get if they’d be living in E”Y. It’s just not going to happen.
And as you admitted yourself – it’s not only your daughter. This process is normal. I think only a select few love it in the beginning. The transition is hard in the beginning and everyone has their issues and their doubts/regrets, but all that’s worth how you feel at the end, after how much you’ve gained from the year. It’s a couple initial months of being unhappy, and then the rest of the time is an uforgettable and life-changing experience. You can only tell her “I told you so” if she still this unhappy at the end. Because honestly she seems right on schedule as of now.