kap- lol
sea shells- I feel your pain. I am sorry for all that you are going through- its not an easy parsha. its easy for me to say now that I’m out of it but the truth is that i always thought about one thought until my bashert came around. I heard from a gadol (I think R’ Matisyahu Salomon but not sure) that there is not such a thing as a parent or anyone else pushing away your zivug. only a person themselves can push away the right one. this helps when parents say no to something that you thought might be a good shot or if unfortunately friends give bad info and that ruins things for you. just think that they cannot push away your bashert.
I remember a teacher in HS speaking to the whole school when she got engaged at around 30. she said all the time that she davened and spent begging hashem was not a waste but Hashem just had to prepare her husband- like a baby waiting for a bottle. it takes time. she married a ball teshuva who was not even frum at the time that she started dating!