To Charlie Hall: you’re absolutely right. And so is she, for being concerned. Overall that is the healthiest attitude to project. But we don’t know exactly where the poster coming’s from.
Here’s an example: a secular kid gets his ear pierced. There is a real possibility that there is NOTHING for the parents to be concerned about. A frum kid gets his ear pierced. There is a LOT for the parents to be concerned about, and there were probably a few stages of progressive concern till the piercing. As ridiculous as it may seem, the jeans are a red flag. I don’t think kids should be as limited as they are, clothes seem like such an innocuous way for kids to stretch a little, but there are realities in this world.
Mommy 613, as much as you don’t want to “drag rabbanim into this” I honestly think you will sleep better getting clarity from some of the fine people, or that sort, I mentioned who would be so happy to help you. I really trust in their discretion. This will not go on your son’s “permanent record.” And I have a hunch you will see much nachas from this young man!