Charlie, Israel is NOT a necessity! It is NOT a NEED, it is a want. And it is something that not everyone can afford. It is a decision that parents need to make according to their own variables and circumstances and not because of peer pressure.
Of course there will be kids that will go with confidence and happily and it will still not work out. But they have to be willing to try and keep trying until they know for sure that they are not cut out for it. They have to be committed to their decision until they understand fully and completely that they made the wrong decision. There has to be a level of maturity and accountability there.
Midwesterner, seminaries are in the business of making money and that’s the bottom line. They don’t return money. That is a given. They don’t care if you mortgage your house to send your kid. They want your money and thats that. They take $100 and up for each application they receive. Why? They get over 1,000 applications for what 100 spots? Does it cost $100 to read an application and process it? Seriously, they should refund the $100 with the rejection letter. Why don’t they? Because they are in the business to make money period. Every spot is worth $20,000. That is their budget as you said. If they return any funds, they will be out of balance. They don’t gain more because it does NOT cost them any less if a girl goes home and they are NOT willing to take a cut in their profits.
Does every girl come home at the end of the year regaling over their amazing experiences? No. There are many, many complaints. Like being treated like kids in grade 13, being forced to wear uniforms and being locked in each night. They don’t feel like they were treated like mature adults basically ready to get married. So you have many coming home thrilled and happy and many who just survived the experience. It is NOT for everyone and it is high time that both parents and kids realize that from the get go.
So where does that leave everyone? What are the options? Being more careful about the decisions we make in sending our kids there. Opening up more seminaries at home and saving the additional funds for our kids’ weddings. Possibly having a summer seminary in Israel that will allow a taste of the experience and then continue it at home. Everything starts with an idea and parents who choose not to conform to what others push for.