Jothar:
I would definitely agree with you, that if you moved to Lakewood, than BMG is part of it as well. Therefore, you can not complain that there are so many “black hatters” in the community or any other petty complaint.
However, that does not mean you have to support BMG or agree with them in any manner. If you want to go and do something your way, you should be able. This is a democratic country we live in. And just as BMG is allowed all the freedom to operate and become a leading torah institution, so too a person who moves there can be anti-BMG and exercise that right as well.
Would you stop a non-jewish person from moving into Lakewood if they so choose? What happens then? Do they, too, need to toe the line that BMG wants. I would say no. So too, by a regular jewish family that likes the jewish atmosphere of Lakewood but does not agree with BMG and their policies, they should not have to “toe the line” according to what BMG wants.