Reply To: How do you know when its time?

Hi. First I just want to thank you all for the replies. Just to put it in perspective (BPT), we are now in our 6th year of marriage. Yes, parnassah is always a point of contention. I was the sole provider for over 3 years while she pursued her masters. Then she worked part time for a while then was out of work for a year. Now she has started work again (based on the school sched) but she had less than 10 hours of work per week. That itself is not the issue, rather the fact that she constantly complains that I do not make enough money. Meanwhile, I am trying to make my small business grow but it will certainly be a while before I can bring home serious money. She on the other hand is very picky about her assignments and where she will work – the work conditions have to be perfect or she will not take the job. No matter how much I stress to her that we need the money she simply will not “settle” on just any job.

This brings me to ARIES’ point. Maybe a life coach would be the answer, I don’t know. What I do know is that we have been to 4 diff therapists, 1 not frum and 3 frum. None of them accepted insurance and we had to pay out of pocket between $100-$250/hr. After spending $1000’s in the past, I don’t have much faith that the 5th time will be the charm. Additionally, we are running on a deficit of over $1000 a month (since she makes almost nothing at her part time job) and between credit cards and student loans we owe about $80,000. I simply can’t afford to see someone and spend even more money I don’t have.

To all of the posters that say that this is not a place to get therapy – I completely agree. I am just trying to see other people’s perspectives on things because mine is not objective. It would be very helpful to hear from people who have gone through a divorce, what got them to that point and whether it was for the better.

I am simply at a point where I am trying to make it work because my love for my children outweighs my issues with my wife. What I’m afraid of is what will happen if/when the balance goes the other way