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In the beginning of Garden of Emuna, there’s a true story about a young woman who lost a young child (murdered & dismembered) & shortly thereafter, lost her husband. Through a dream she was showm the “story behind the story” & what really was happening.
It would be a grave injustice if I would paraphrase.
See if you could get your hands on the book.
I hope by now you called the numbers that were supplied to you on your other thread. A support group for domestic abuse survivors & a counselor specializing in it are both crucial in the healing process.
Usually a victim somehow suffered from abuse in some way growing up, and subconsciously chooses a partner who is “familiar.”
Comparing oneself to others is a form of self-abuse. A victim many times will put herself/himself down (self-abuse) even when not in the presence of the abuser.
Keep in mind that Hashem gives lots of nisyonos to high neshamos…suffering in this world is better than in the next.
We all here feel for you & are rooting for you.
Now you need to borrow the book & make the call.
Hatzlacha.
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