My wife and I were zocheh to make a shidduch a few years ago, since then we have only suggested 3 or 4 more, (none worked out). As much as we would like to suggest more of them we find that the people really don’t appreciate the time and effort we put in to trying to make it happen. A professional shadchen can suggest a name and talk for a few minutes and hang up. As a friend or relative we try to sell the boy and girl which takes time, each side pumps us for info which takes even more time and then if they go out we get a call at 8 or 9 in the morning (when we have to get everybody out) it takes even more time. And if at the end they is a flat out no by either side ( sometimes in my opinion for the stupidest reasons) my wife and I looked at each other and said “who needs this”. Then people wonder why there is a shiduch crisis.
I believe that the parents and their children need to understand that when a private individual suggests a shidduch they are doing it as chessed and should appreciate it even when it doesn’t work out.
I would strongly suggest that both the girl and the boy should commit to give at least two dates, and not be quick to say no. There are many people who wanted to say no after a date and for one reason or another were pressured into another date and today they are happily married.
One story sticks in my mind from a chasiddshe rav in flatbush from when he dated 50 years ago. He went to pick up the girl, in those days the girls usually worked at a very physically demanding job to help support the family. As soon as she got into the car she fell asleep, he did not know what to do, in those days you couldn’t park on the side of the road with a girl, so he drove around for hours until she woke. They were zocheh to have bunim ubenai bunim.