mischiefmaker-
Been there, done that. I know what it feels like, but dont fool yourself. Attitude is everything. Maybe even more than the situation which you are put in. Anyone can talk about having a positive attitude from today till tomorrow but until you come to the realization yourself, it wont help. I know from experience that a situation doesn’t need to change to feel better. It might seem like a completely foreign concept right now but know that its possible. Depression or a negative attitude is not anyones fault but its something to overcome. What I’m understanding from your earlier post sounds like anger more than depression (or anger coming out in the form of depression). Am I right? (Just trying to help).
When the hardship is in YOU its impossible to escape. It follows you around which makes you not be able to have relief, even in school.
Just like you said. The hardship is in you. It is not you. People are not cookies. There is no all good and all bad. Every person (yes, you) is good with certain things that need a little polishing. Dont put yourself in the wrong camp because there is something making you look at things through broken glasses.
As was already mentioned, talk to a friend. Friends are very good, but let me go a step further. Talk to Hashem. Not just during Shmone Esrei. He is the best listener around and your best friend. Go into your room (or a quiet place) when no ones around and talk to Him. Tell him exactly what you would tell a friend. And think of something good that happened (in a related area) and thank Him for it. Guaranteed results.
Getting the idea I have a lot to say on this? 🙂
Lots of hatzlacha!
(end rant)