Reply To: Lights on Shabbos and Thanking Someone for Doing an Aveirah on Your Behalf

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#840945
BTGuy
Participant

Hi BrainwasheD.

I dont think the person is doing an aveirah on ‘your behalf’, meaning it is something you asked them to do.

We can be only so responsible for where any one person is holding, especially when it comes to how they observe Judaism. All of us have to stand before Hashem for doing wrong on Yom Kippur. I would say if they dont do something right or dont understand what they are doing wrong, but they intended to do something nice, then they deserve a “thank you”.

If there is a way to enlighten the person a little, then do so. But you know that matter is a very delicate thing to take on in this case since the person thinks they are observing properly.

Or tell them how you hold and the way they are holding is not how you hold and that you feel their efforts would be more effective by doing things differently. But again, this is a touchy thing to do.

I can appreciate your predicament. I have heard it said many times, that if someone does something wrong, but their rebbe told them it is ok to do, even though it is wrong, the very fact that they are listening to their rebbe, is a mitzvah for them. This presents interesting possibilities in this case that a rabbi has to address for you.