Hi,
I just wanted to add my 2 cents- from a seasoned dater. Unfortunately, I don’t think you are being too picky, or nitpicking and hearing that many happily married men, were once ‘bad daters’ really doesn’t help.
I don’t think your problem is with bad daters, you are probably mature enough to be able to see past that and would recognize a diamond in the rough if it/he came your way.
Rather, yes, unfortunately, the guys are not of the same calibre as the girls and (if I may, on behalf of all those other frustrated girls out there) we just need to carry on trying or/and try and be more flexible about our criteria for who we date.
I know this is counter-intuitive, but after years of dating, I look back and wish I had been more flexible when I was younger.
I don’t want to turn this into a long preaching rant so all I’ll say is, yes I totally commiserate with you. It’s an awful feeling when you feel so disappointed, time after time, and start realizing that the guys you are being suggested just don’t measure up in the most basic of ways (and I mean, really basic).
But don’t try to remedy that by ‘tightening’ your criteria. Rather try and think outside the box if you can so you have a wider pool of guys who may have the good qualities that you are looking for.
In the meantime, go get yourself some ice cream, chocolate or a new pair of shoes to fill up that painful void. It’s not enough, I know but on the short term, it takes the edge of that horrible ache.
Hatslacha- I hope you find the right one soon, and until then, HaShem should bensh you with the strength to deal with this.