It sounds like you need advice from someone who has his head screwed on really straight, preferably someone who knows you/ your family. Is there a family Rav? Is he a person with Sechel (not everyone who has the title “Rabbi” is necessarily a Ba’al Eitza, but an awfully lot of them are Ba’alei Eitza). You can arrange to speak to him while your husband is out at work. Even if you have no family Rav, every city has prominent Rabbonim with much life’s experience that you can speak to. Which city are you from? (only answer this last question if there are thousands of frum Yidden in your city, to protect your identity)
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