Reply To: "Where Are the Men"-Article in last week's Mishpacha

I appreciate that there are those among you who feel that the fathers/husbands should be the ones to set the ground rules in the home regarding tznius, as for most other halachically based issues. Sadly, however, men across the orthodox/yehsivish/ chasidish spectrum do not really know what is appropriate for women and girls to wear; they just don’t understand the nuances of a little too tight, too revealing, too suggestive, etc. Women, however, do know the difference, but unfortunately even among those who are very sensitive, the more you see of a mode a dress, the more acceptable it becomes. It is the responsibility of mothers, who are the ones who take their children shopping or buy their clothing, to take care not to dress their daughters even at a very young age, in anything that they would consider inappropriate as a teenager. This does not include things like pants and short sleeves, because these are things that girls naturally stop wearing because they know that a frum girl does not wear these things. (I am referring to your mainstream girl, not someone rebellious.) I am referring to styles that are cut inappropriately, fit inappropriately, are styled in a way that a frum woman should not dress, even if all of the correct body parts are completely covered. Dresses or skirts that just hit the knee and are straight cut, or pencil skirts, cannot possibly be long enough when sitting. Too tight lace tops with nude colored shells underneath are obviously suggestive of wearing nothing at all underneath. Only mothers, older sisters, or other female role models understand these things and can lovingly guide their charges into wanting to dress appropriately. Strict “no”s are not necessarily the way to go in this day and age. Rather, having the girl/teen assess the article of clothing as she tries it on and coming to the conclusion herself may be much more effective. As a first time poster, I am sure there will be those of you who will have many strong comments in favor and against; so be it. I will not be responding to posts regarding my comments, not because I am copping out, but because I don’t think I have anything more to say. Gut voch to you all!