“Someone who can do so B’Nachas, without making the person upset or looking down on them. Just like any other tochacha.”
In the case of ones daughter, it is not tochacha, it is chinuch if stated the right way. whatever is said, it better be something that both parents agree on. In the case of a married woman, she ought to be open to a comment from her husband if said the right way. All couples interact differently, no cookie cutter answer.