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toomuch00…I’ve written about this in another thread…alot of people may tell you that what your are going through is because you might be shy, not self confident..etc..What you are expressing “anxious, looking or acting like an idiot..what others may think, how they judge you” this may point to something called “social anxiety”. Like someone commented here, a good portion of people unknowingly suffer from this and think it’s something you will just outgrow through your teenage years. My niece had a simialr situation like you and she ended up going to therapy..behavioral cognitive therapy…which changed her world. She had to work hard at it, but Boruch Hashem she is in her 20s and is thriving and productive. Last weeks Mishpacha had an article about social anxiety (it should’ve been more thorough in information). I’m not doing a diagnosis here…just letting you know that if all this “anxiety” is taking over your life, you might want to look into therapy. Hatzlocha!