i din’t read other posts, but read your question. first of all ” 40 yom kodem Yetziras havlad” before created in the womb, not born.
just to note:
i heard in a shiur by a renowned darshan that the bashert is only destined for the girls. maybe this explains the gap bet. amount of boys and girls. YES, some boys were created for being bachlors! so you’ll ask about the older girl singels who never marry – they never got to their bashert. it was bashert they shouldn’t meet their bashert.
some mefarshim say a hub and wife are one neshama split in two parts. some neshamos aren’t split.