“at simchas and shabbos and times that i need to be besimcha. “
What do you mean by “times that i need to be besimcha”?
How often is that? It sounds to me that could be an excuse for grabbing a few drinks at any old time. Besides, why does it take 2-4 drinks (which is legally drunk) to get that “simcha”?
All alcoholics have excuses. They all say that they need that drink.
I’m glad you are asking now before it gets too late.
Go for treatment now.