About the last point – I in no way meant it in regard to your situation. I was pointing out a fascinating idea – that at root, we never change our midos, but our way of using them.
In the case of physical pain, for sure that’s also included in His intent. So your point is that when its not clear, and depends on my emotions, I do my best to avoid it.
I would think that depends on the situation. In the case of the plane, I would agree. There is no need to feel frustration, if anything it comes from a bad midah, so work on it. My intent there was not to frustration, but to the problems you may have because of missing it.
In a case where its a normal human emotion – such as the sickness or loss of someone you care for – I would say He expects you to have the pain, and is part of His intention. Serious problems in life, perhaps including yours, is hard to know. Everyone has to know for themselves. I would be very wary, though, of denial.
NOMTW – sorry, by the way, for hijacking the thread.