Oh Banana, I feel for you. Unfortunately I am a mother who does yell at her kids (wish I didn’t), and if yours yells at you when do you try to help and you aren’t perfect (clumsy is such a difficult thing for a teenage girl – I remember because I was one once). Your self esteem probably takes a beating and you figure out that you’re best off not even starting. It is great that you help with the shopping, since that is for sure a help for your mother and it gets done in a way that you’re not under her watchful eye while doing it. So that’s a tremendous thing. You’re off to a great start.
But I will say that I understand where that “laziness” about helping comes about, since demands for perfection make you tired before you even start, so why even bother, right? How about trying to keep your things and your bedroom cleaned up so that she’ll have one less area to pay attention to. She’s not everywhere in the house at one time, so you can work on your room when she’s not there.
My other points do stand though, and definitely keep up with your studies. I do remind my teenage daughters, though, that their chosson is not going to ask to see their report cards, so don’t sweat it. You want to get into a good sem (the right one for you) so grades do matter more for you than they do for my daughters, so just stick with the little chessed projects for now and wait until you’ve gotten through the school portion of your life to take on bigger projects.
Chin up, I’m sure you’re a great girl if you’re worrying about doing chessed (and you could try taking an exercise/dance class to help with clumsiness also – they help a lot with coordination).