As for most of your post, you and I are in agreement. For the rest of it I will try one more time to explain: I believe your agenda is not letting you comprehend what I’m trying to tell you.
The Deborah Feldman you met in writing and the person now in your mind is very much a person the author created. Yes, she created herself. I real life she is nothing like she is portrayed in the book.
If you read the book with an open mind, and leaving your emotions behind, it is very clear that she created laws, circumstances, and herself (character), leaving nothing to imagination. And she successfully preyed on your emotions.
I agree with you that most troubled people went through hard times and i really don’t judge people because of it. However, this one had a goal from the outset. She was gonna satisfy all kinds of crazy desires she couldn’t control. Problem is she couldn’t justify it so she found people who are willing to take the blame.
She was also part of our community so she knows exactly where we are vulnerable and those are the points she chose to expose. You want to learn from her story? I would suggest you continue talking to the honest people, the really hurt ones, do to find a way to correct some very disturbing problems in our community. I for one am willing to follow your direction to make this world a better place.
And back to my original point. Her book – big deal. I don’t think she’s done any damage to our nation as a whole. Destroy her neshama – maybe. We don’t need to defend ourselves or the Torah. Hashem is the only one who can truly fight for His own honor. For those of us that follow the path of the torah – great. And those of us who need to improve – change – we needed to do it anyway she affected nothing.