On one hand, it makes sense that you should buy the house you want now, before iyH your family grows even more. OTOH, we used to be on scholarship and I felt like a neb, esp. because we knew scholarship committee members. Now we’re in a “fixer-upper” but pay full tuition. It is really a HUGE relief to not have to apply for and accept scholarships anymore. This is how I comfort myself when I look around at home. I compare prices online for what I need or shop at places like Amazing Savings. I don’t have an expensive sheitel(s). We don’t take vacations or have expensive cars. I feel like this is the responsible thing to do for the sake of our children’s chinuch both at home and for their yeshiva.
Someone with all the materialistic trappings applying for and using food stamps is “playing the system”, no matter how you justify it. IMO it is not a matter of “if Hashem wants me to have it, what’s wrong with that”, because we choose how we spend the income Hashem provides us with. Friends and neighbors see that someone is dressed to the hilt but don’t know if they’re on scholarship, right? But is that managing what Hashem has given us responsibility? What if a scholarship could otherwise be going to a family who only has chicken on Shabbos? JMHO…