cooljude, theres a difference between “not appreciating being a bas Yisrael” and “using a little more thrill” in life, but both can be fixed. Is there a teacher (or mentor) you’re close with? And hang in there. 🙂
aproudbyg, I’m sorry about what happened with your mentor. Do you have a teacher you feel comfortable talking to? mra01385 mentioned Rabbi Wallerstein, which is a great suggestion. If you can’t get to Ohr Naava, you can watch his Shiurim on TorahAnytime.com. (I’ve heard that he can not always respond to emails right away, but you can try Gateways which is online at asktherabbi.org) And you can always vent in the CR 🙂 Hang in there.