“And if you don’t mind, I’ll flip the question. Aren’t a lot of the things women want in a spouse so that their friends will see what a chashuv catch they got? Don’t you want your friends to think what a talmid chochom you got? Or what a rich doctor you got? (Depending on your circle of friends.)”
I’m not going to generalize for others but I honestly work on myself to only care what G-d thinks. Not that I am on that level yet, but I do have a very strong sense of self, enough that what I am looking for in a marriage partner is only someone I am compatible with and who sees the same future that I do.
It makes no difference to me if others approve or disapprove. Approval is nice but holds no weight in my decision.
Money is a convenience, a talmid chacham is necessary exclusively so that I can respect him. Each is a nice attribute but once I am married and we are no longer on display, nothing will matter except if he has the tools and desire to build in the same direction I do.
I am sure I am not alone.