Reply To: what people look for in shidduch dating

Candy, you took a lot of time to write all of that and I didn’t even address you. Sorry, it’s because I had to go back and re-read it. I think I understand what you are saying. I think it’s true that we have to be machshiv Torah and make that the focus of our lives. In terms of love.. I think loving the Torah is just an expression of loving Hashem, it’s not the end goal. Some people love learning, and some don’t, that’s why some people go into harbotzas haTorah and others aren’t cut out for it. It’s not just a matter of intellectual capacity. Not trying to be gaivadic (I’m still anonymous), I was one of the top guys in my shiurim and I just didn’t see myself becoming a lifelong rebbe or kiruv person. I wasn’t happy sitting in a beis medrash all day, so I went to college where b”H, I feel accomplished. I still enjoy learning, but not 13 hours a day. I want to run my life with Torah hashkofa and all, but it just seemed like all shidduch dating girls are taught in seminary that in order to have their cheilik in Torah they need to support a husband who is sitting and learning all day. Thanks for the response.