I don’t know about any other place but the sem I went to did not brainwash us at all. while they did say that someone learning for a long time is great and amazing- they also STRESSED that it is not for everyone, you have to know yourself. They constantly said that not everyone is cut out for that life, if you are that’s good for you if not that’s good for you too! as long as it’s what is right for you. they also stressed YOU ARE NOT HIS MASGIACH!!!a lot of girls expect their husbands to learn learn learn, they don’t realize that there is a time to chill- that they are not there to make sure he learns, but to encourage him, otherwise you end up with a lot of built up resentment on both sides. Also a lot of us want guys who WANT to learn, there are plenty of guys learning now that are just doing it for shidduchim, I personally would rather someone who is in school/but has a seder/ chavrusa at some point during the day rather then have someone who is just in yeshivah for shidduchim. but I’m just one girl….. but i know quite a few of my friends feel the same way…..
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