Youre so wrapped up in my being wrapped up that you dont think before you type. You have the ability to take a civil discussion and cheapen it and the sometimes valid points you postulate with petty, immature and frankly, juvenile fighting. Im not looking to make this hostile but you clearly are. I think your posts would have infinitely more value if you stuck to them. Theres no need to dilute them with your baseless prejudices and defensive belittling of your fellow posters.
As for tachlis, “The ultimatum is either you go for help or I’m leaving.” That sort of ultimatum is exactly the one i was saying was wrong for the occasion. She has to be on his side, its a shared issue and acting in the way you suggest he should is indicative of a very different stance. Even if it is successful as a deterrent for him, the more devastating result is the breakdown in this relationship. If he does “give up” out of the fear of losing her, his commitment is far less strong as its not based on his own motivation but from a lack of options. You should read “men are from Mars” to understand a little about what courses of action are more likely to evoke a response from men. One which makes him feel impotent and under pressure is far less effective than one which makes him feel he’s powerful and in control.
Finally, your vociferous harping on about the need for therapy makes me wonder. You denied being a Woman so ill accept that as true, are you a man whos looking to mitigate his dirty little secret by claiming its an addiction strong enough to demand therapy?