You certainly cannot ever stam shmooze with women (or girls) not your immediate family.
Who says you can stam shmooze with women even in your own family? Al Tarbeh Sichah applies to one’s own wife too. When I ask my daughter how her day went at school, that’s a sin. When I ask my mother how her back is doing, that’s a sin too. When I ask my sister how my nieces are doing at camp, that’s a sin. When I ask my father how his wife’s [not my mother] surgery went, that, too, is a sin [since she’s an erva to me and I should not ask about her]. These are all sins of which I am guilty and for which I must suffer, and I challenge shlishi, or avhaben or any of that group to find me a single hetter for doing so. The fact is that I am a disgusting pervert for even thinking of doing these things, and I deserve whatever punishment, judicial or extra-judicial, the community wants to mete out to me.
The Wolf