If a person is chronically falling behind in her responsibilities at work, that might be a clue. Ask her about her job. Is there a lot of paperwork? Pay attention to what she complains about and try to explore further.
Notice her house when you pick her up. Is it in a complete disarray? People usually try to clean up before. It may point more to her mother’s habits, but you might get a clue how she was raised. If it’s really clean, you can complement her and her mom’s ability to handle it all on her own. If the girl contributes help and she wants you to know, she’ll be sure to mention it.
You might also want to just verbally own up on a date to what you think you need. If it sounds like a poor match to who the girl is, she just might tell you (but you run the risk of having her run for the hills that you’re starting out with such specific expectations). People don’t like to feel pressure to live up to someone else’s dreams.