Marriage puts a ring on a woman’s finger and two under the man’s eyes.
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the begining of a new argument.
A husband said to his wife, “No, I don’t hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine.”
A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” And the father replied, “I don’t know, son, I’m still paying for it.”
Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up