groisnaches:
I do believe that we, as parents, understand that any form of abuse is destructive. We do not need to get into the discussion about molestation. That’s for other threads and even other sites. But the physical abuse inflicted by smacking, denying lunches or trips to the bathrooms, and the emotional abuse of name calling, punishing without having verified guilt, the public embarrassment, are all equally as devastating. All are tantamount to murder, and this is supported by Chazal. If you explore the histories of the OTD kids, you will discover these forms of abuse in virtually all of them, though those that did it will claim they were justified in perpetrating the abuse.
This topic is actually old discussion, and efforts to negotiate the subject with mechanchim or menahalim have either of two outcomes. Either they categorically deny it ever happens in their mosdos, or they insist that there is no other way to deal with the situation (blaming the victim). I have heard both versions. But to hear one single menahel accept responsibility for these crimes, followed by interventions to remedy the situation – that I have yet to experience. I have heard yeshivos refuse to allow a professional to train the faculty on anger management, discipline skills, etc. I have watched them deflect accusations with the above two forms of denial. So the struggle just goes on. I am not the advocate of police or media, but until a case ends up there, I am not sure the awareness and recognition of the problem will be enough to save our children.