the best is to ask as many people as u can and sometimes even going back to the first people u want to know how the person asks on a day to day basis how they treat people if they r loud and agressive u wanna stay away u want to dig and find out all the skeltons in the closet so there are no suprises. you want to hear frist hand what they r looking for and find out if your on the same page what they wear what they r looking for there parner to wear what the family is like what kind of background and basicly everything and anything u can find out about
the best is to find somebody mutrial who you know who either know them personally or knows somebody whos a neighbor a classmate or davens in the same shul