I feel for you very much and will give you my opinion whatever it’s worth.
If you live with someone who is controlling and an addict, unless he really wants to change (not YOU want him to change), it won’t happen. And unless he wants to change VERY BADLY it may not happen either. Unless a person is VERY, VERY motivated to correct themselves, work with a therapist very hard, they won’t succeed. In this case it doesn’t sound like he’s motivated either. Also, if part of his behavior includes blaming you for his mistakes, etc, it doesn’t sound like he is willing to see himself objectively.
That being said, I have a good friend who is divorced. Her children and very self conscious and did not tell many classmates about the situation. It is very hard on children. But if the situation you describe doesn’t get better, it will HARDER on them.