Gavra: I hear you but don’t think you are being realistic. Appearances nowadays are everything rightly or wrongly (and was way back, remember the heating the empty oven pretending to bake challos story?) Even if you are technically correct our midas hachesed should surpass what others are allowed to beg for by us trying to maintain their lifestyle and not judge.
Also, tzeddakah is more complex so I probably can have it both ways. Anything I give for a mosad is tzeddakah regardless of why there’s a shortfall. And some merchants will give discounts knowing the benefactor is truly needy, however the one doing the bargaining thinks they’re only cutting into a high profit margin. It may be a form of matan beseser, but I still wouldn’t call the one asking for it the same as requesting tzeddakah from the community.
Chesed is a Jewish middah, let’s not muddy the waters by being picky on who’s deserving of our help or what they must do first. On the other hand let’s not forget to focus on job training and creation, financial planning; maybe even a babysitting co-op. And on this thread some pragmatic money-saving advice as I believe was the original intent.
Zdad: I have no clue what chumra mongering is but please don’t bother explaining it — as I mentioned before this thread is not the right venue.