My husband and I met 3 years before we got married. It was our freshman year of college and there was no way we could get married then. We were friends for nine months before we started dating, dated for 1.5 years and then engaged for 9 months. We had originally planned to wait until after graduation, but my mother encouraged us to get married a year before we graduated. I was already living on my own (too far to commute from home) and my husband coming to live with me added negligble costs. I’m glad we waited to get married, but I’m also glad we didn’t wait until we gradutated.
My husband and I noticed each others negative traits and were able to discuss our issues before we got engaged. I think that really helped keep us close but realistic. We learnt that communication is primary and how to effectively communicate (and that we COULD). Since we were both in school together, we spent lots and lots of hour together every day (both in class and out of class). We really knew each other inside and out by the time we got married.
Self control is possible if you would like to. We followed our rabbinic guidelines.