YehudahTzvi, no one likes to be sick. It is a challenge for sure. While the medications work on one part of the body to heal, they usually effect another part and sometimes for a very good reason. Sleep is a very necessary part of healing. When you sleep or even rest your body regenerates itself and allows the healing to take place. But usually we only appreciate sleep when we are well, and get “restless” from rest and “tired” from sleep when we are ill. It is “boring” to be in the same room, in the same bed, with the same scenery, and the same complaints, with the same problems, and not having much change from day to day.
YT, I don’t know anyone who likes being on the receiving end, of course everyone wants to be on the giving end; being the ones who DO the Bikur Cholim, making the m’sheberachs, running the errands, etc. But accepting this challenge may just be your tafkid for Chodesh Elul. It might just be your job to allow others to get an extra mitzvah or two. So whether it is us here on the CR saying an extra kapital or two, or keeping you company, or your friends stopping by or calling you on the phone; or your wife coming in to check on you, or your mom, or kids or whomever are doing a little extra this month they are getting extra mitzvos through you. OK? So don’t say that Chodesh Elul is a waste. Every mitzvah counts whether it is yours or initiated through you.
In addition, you have a job to do and that is healing. You are no good to anyone else if you can’t help yourself. (that is what my Rav told me after one of my surgeries) So that is also your tafkid this month and that is to work on getting yourself healthy. If you fight the recovery process then you will never be up to par and ready to take over your tafkidim whether that is being an oveid Hashem in general, husband, father, son, earner, learner, friend, neighbor or whatever hats your head supports. So just as you reach for chizuk right here on the CR, accept the comfort your pillow offers, accept the relief the medication offers, accept the chizuk your tehillim offers even though it is NOT sitting on the top of your head or wound around your arm. There are things you can do, and there are things you just cant do for a little while. Just please, please keep in mind this is a temporary situation and for that you have to be grateful and show hakoros hatov. Unfortunately there are many, many people who are on the downturn and have to accept this as their judgment. But B”H for you this is a temporary condition that with time and tefillah will disappear.
If you could just try your best to clear your space from negativity and surround yourself with positive energy and simchas hachayim. Listen to the sounds of the Shofar. You can call your local Chabad and they will arrange for someone to come to the house to Blow Shofar. You can also call your local Yeshiva and they might be able to arrange that as well. You might even be able to arrange to have a minyan daven in the house for maariv at night so at least you can hear others daven. That might bring you some menuchas hanefesh. You would be surprised what you can do if you just think positively.
I apologize if I offended you in any way. I am truly trying to think of ways to lift your spirits and put you in the appropriate matzav for healing. Refuah Sheleimah.